With help of the citizens of ferenginar and their real boss quark, I hereby present the 138 very (un)official rules for trading in my county! for people who know where this is from, let me know, and if you have a favourite rule, also let me know below! :D

1.Never try to fuck Athorias over.

2.Once you have their money, you never give it back.

3.The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.

4.Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.

5.Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

6.Keep your ears open.

7.Small print leads to large risk.

8.Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

9.Greed is eternal.

10.Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.

11.Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

12.Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.

13.Keep your family close, keep your Coin closer.

14.A deal is a deal. (until a better one comes along).

15.A contract is a contract (but only between Citizens of Skelanos).

16.A Citizen of Skelanos without profit is no Citizens of Skelanos at all.

17.Satisfaction is not guaranteed.

18.Only give money to people you know you can steal from.

19.Never place friendship above profit.

20.Never place friendship before profit.

21.A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

22.Coin can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.

23.There's always a way out.

24.As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.

25.There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.

26.Whisper your way to success.

27.It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

28.War is good for business.

29.Peace is good for business.

30.If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.

31.Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.

32.She can touch your lobes, but never your Coin.

33.Profit is its own reward.

34.What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.

35.Never confuse wisdom with luck.

36.Ambition knows no family.

37.Make your shop easy to find.

38.Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

39.The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

40.Everything is worth something to somebody.

41.Gratitude can bring on generosity.

42.Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.

43.Never ask when you can take.

44.Good customers are as rare as Coin, Treasure them.

45.There is no substitute for success.

46.Free advice is seldom cheap.

47.Keep your lies consistent.

48.The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

49.Ear stroking will get you anything.

50.Citizens of Skelanos is not responsible for the stupidity of other races.

51.Never trust your customers.

52.If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.

53.It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.

54.When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.

55.The flimsier the product, the higher the price.

56.A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.

57.Never let the competition know what you're thinking.

58.A friend in need means three times the profit.

59.Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.

60.There are many paths to profit.

61.Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.

62.If there are no coins, gold is also fine.

63.Expand or die.

64.For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not).

65.Enough... is never enough.

66.Every man has his price.

67.Trust is the biggest liability of all.

68.If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.

69.The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.

70.Nature decays, but Coin lasts forever.

71.Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).

72.Don't trust anyone who trusts you.

73.There is no honor in poverty.

74.A warranty is valid only if they can find you.

75.Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

76.Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].

77.Never have sex with the boss' sister.

78.Always have sex with the boss.

79.The best contract always has a lot of fine print.

80.There's always a catch.

81.Everything is for sale, including friendship.

82.Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, (...sometimes, good things come in 83.small packages).

84.Everything is for sale, including friendship.

85.Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Coin.

86.You can't make a deal if you're dead.

87.Count it.

89.Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.

90.Never trust a beneficiary.

91.Wives serve, brothers inherit.

92.Only fools pay retail.

93.There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.

94.Risk is part of the game... play it for all it's worth.

95.There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.

96.A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.

97.Sell the sizzle, not the steak.

98.Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.

99.Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.

100.Blood is thicker than water, and Coin is thicker than both.

101.Chances aren't what they used to be.

102.Know your enemies... but do business with them always.

103.Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.

104.A fool and his money is the best customer.

105.Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.

106.Hear all, trust nothing.

107.A Citizen of Skelanos waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.

108.Never cheat a King... unless you're sure you can get away with it.

109.It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.

110.If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.

111.The justification of profit is profit.

112.New customers are like trollmouth salamanders. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.

113.Take cash over bartering.

114.It takes a Citizen of Skelanos to cheat a Citizen of Skelanos.

115.Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.

116.Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.

117.Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

118.Always know what you're buying.

119.Beware the man who doesn't make time for Athorias.

120.Coin lasts longer than lust.

121.There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.

122.You can't buy fate.

123.Never be afraid to mislabel a product.

124.Never trust a hardworking employee.

125.More is good... all is better..

126.A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.

127.Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.

128.Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?

129.A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.

130.A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

131.Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Coin.

132.The customer is always right, (...until you get their cash).

133.When in doubt, lie.

134.If you believe it, they believe it.

135.In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.

136.Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.

137.Deep down, everyone's a Citizen of Skelanos.

138.No good deed ever goes unpunished.