Rather than starting a new thread I thought I would add this here.
I utterly adore the new Game Guide, it is so much more user friendly and covers things in a really nice way that is a good introduction for new users. I intend to use it a lot as a reference rather than sending people to obscure DJs and announcements from the past.
Below is a quick list of typos/comments/thoughts.
General
Animals and capitalised names. I suggested changing names to capitals where other examples on the page are capitalised. However, in truth we do not say Bear mid-sentence so why Ptreoguin?
Children of Mann / Mannkind / Mann-Kind (not consistent) is used a lot but only vaguely explained in the lore section, which despite being the most important part of the game is often overlooked by many. I thought there might be something at the beginning of tribes but Mann is not mentioned.
Elipsis, no spaces, spaces on both sides, there is no consistency.
Work as a team to develop your noble house, increase holdings, and improve your collective wealth.
This makes it sound like every family is noble as there are no other family descriptions.
Note: 1 Spark of Life comes with a copy of the game.
A copy of the game comes with 1 Spark of Life. The current text sounds like you get another game with every spark.
You can find success in other ways - either filling a role as a Supplier or Gatherer or as a Producer - without ever using a weapon.
Recommend changing to 'either as a Supplier, Gatherer or as a Producer' or something else a little less wordy.
To the adventurer it's mostly an AARPG.
ARPG?
Do I lose experience if my soul becomes seperated?
Separated.
In Chronicles of Elyria, crimes such as attacking other characters is punishable by time in prison. The more time someone spends in prison, the shorter their playable lifespan, the more their skills atrophy, and the less powerful they will ultimately become. So, we've kind of removed most the incentive around griefing.
Are there prisons and skill atrophy still planned? Last we heard they were not in scope.
We're attempting to equalize this by having an in-game exchange market.
This was removed from scope.
Spend time increasing your family's holdings and building your Noble House.
I would recommend or rather than and, as it suggests everyone is a noble.
Great question! Since this changes from time-to-time, your best bet is to bookmark our Jobs Page.
Link?
As a result, people will typically buy a life once per year.
Will they? Personally I feel this is a little optimistic with the variety of play styles, especially after the first year. It seems that two would be more typical.
Lives will be roughly the cost of a game expansion - between $20 and $40 USD.
This suggests they might become cheaper in the future then they are now.
For these things we're using the Unreal Engine.In contrast, there are a set of services/libraries running on the back-end that drive the soulpool, the dynamic story engine, etc...
Missing space at the end of the sentence between 'Engine.' and 'In'. Should story engine be changed to Storyfinding to match other areas of the guide? Also as soulpool is not mentioned elsewhere it doesn't help with clarity.
The different biomes in Elyria are distinct habitats for plants and animals with features derived from that area's elevation, humidity, and latitude on the planet.The world maps
Missing space at the end of the sentence between 'planet.' and 'The'.
More extreme biomes, such as Wetlands and Tundras, will also provide more environmental challenges that will determine everything from where a settlement can thrive, to how travel is handled.
Should this be Swamps rather than Wetlands, as Wetlands is already mentioned previously in the paragraph?
Found in every part of the world except the Tundra, each forest will undoubtedly have a different assortment of flora and fauna..
Two full stops at the end.
The cool, semi-arid Deserts are home to The Waerd, while the Erishé are said to inhabit sweltering, arid deserts across the ocean.
Recommend changing the capitalisation to 'arid Deserts' to be consistent.
The wetlands are some of the most politically charged of the biomes, with the freshwater marshes of the To'resk bordering the swamps of the Dras tribe and the tropical rainforests of the fierce Janoa..
Two full stops at the end.
Wildcats and canis rabbits can be dangerous to come upon and are bold enough to approach settlements.
Recommend changing the capitalisation to 'Canis Rabbits' to be consistent.
Dozens of counties will make up each Duchy; a variable number per server. Twelve Duchies will make up each Kingdom, and the starting continent will be broken up into six Kingdoms.
Does the number of counties very per server more than the number of Kingdoms, or are both just different on OCE? Just seems strange to give one variable but not the other especially when the number of Counties is given as 24 later down the page.
At it's smallest, land is broken into parcels that are 64 square meters each.
Should be 'its'.
The only assurance of safety for the children of Mann is to band together into the security of community; sanctuaries where nourishment and protection can be shared among the group.
This is the first mention if the term 'children of Mann' if you are following the Guide in order, it doesn't feel overly intuitive as to what is being said if you do not know it describes the beings we play.
The strength of a settlement will depend on many factors: its location in the world, access to natural resources, how defensible its terrain is, what buildings have been built, what crafts or education, it has available, which people it has attracted, and how it is governed
Recommend removing the comma between 'education' and 'it has available'.
Even with their striking violet eyes, their gaunt faces often come off as foreboding and ghoulish to outsiders.
Why would violet eyes make them less ghoulish? Suggest removing the word 'even'.
Their eyes are typically varying shades of brown, a nod to their Proto-Neran ancestry, but a mismatch to their upbringing in the deep caverns of the Mountain Steppe.
The fact they are 'Proto-Neran' seems a little confusing to put in the overview, especially as Nerans haven't been mentioned yet let alone Proto-Nerans. Suggest something a bit more general.
The Owem are found natively in the the Savannah biome.
The word 'the' is repeated before savannah.
There are no spawn points to camp and no resource hubs to visit. Following after true-to-life ecological models, each biome and the creatures inside of them make up part of its food chain, and are susceptible to change from external forces. Over-hunting of a keystone species, such as wolves.
The second sentence feels like a cut off continuation of the first sentence ('forces, such as over-hunting') or simply incomplete ('Over-hunting of a keystone species, such as wolves, will have a dramatic impact.').
Those genetics are passed on through reproduction through breeding or cross pollination.
Recommend changing to 'Those genetics are passed on through reproduction, breeding or cross pollination.'.
Since each animal and plant will reproduce instead of magically spawning into the world, it is entirely possible for whole species to becomes extinct, or for invasive species to disrupt a biome’s ecosystem.
Recommend 'become'.
Neither the Boreal Forest nor the Tundra is outside the reach of this dominant aerial foe, and Brudvir hunters often fashion defensive gear out of Dryas Elk antlers with the same purpose in mind; to keep the pteroguins off their backs.
Recommend changing the capitalisation to 'Pteroguins' to be consistent.
The Otter Bear can be found anywhere a river is, and is one of the most ubiquitous creatures in Elyria.
Otterbear?
While some think that having a bunny as a pet would be nice, the canis rabbit likely won't take kindly to the idea.
Recommend changing the capitalisation to 'Canis Rabbit' to be consistent.
The Conifer Rat is a stealthy rodent, disguising itself as a pinecone when threatened. As its master, this ability can be used in tandem to infiltrate an area or do subterfuge.
Suggest removing 'in tandem' as there is only one ability it is not clear what it is in tandem with.
No killing a soldier and being unable to take their armor...if you have time while the fight rages on!
Most of the time you will not be able to take their armour due to the looting rules. Perhaps go with sword?
Rather, you would more likely find hide, meat, bones, teeth, or claws.
Should this be 'and' rather than 'or', or could you find a clawless bear?
There is only so much gold in the world; only so many wolves.
If you have not read the part on fauna yet this part is confusing as while gold is a set unchangeable figure (presumably?) wolves are able to be breed.
It's recommended to bundle up in cold climates to avoid adverse affects.
Effects.
Firstly and most importantly I do not really understand the purpose of this section, it is like the 'Overview' section but with a different overview. Why are the two separate? I think this page and Overview need to be consolidated, or at least this moved to the first tab in the menu as a starting point to get an idea of everything.
Our unique family system is they key to sharing and growing your legacy with your real-life friends and family as you play.
Recommend 'the key'.
Learn about the Breaking of the World in the First Age, the God's War in the Second Age, plus the coming of Mann and his children (your character's ancestors) to Elyria after being banished from Haven, the fabled City of the Gods..
Two full stops at the end.
The Virtori believe there are 7 virtues and 7 vices and, after a great war between their God-like incarnations, were sealed away by Mann-kind to save Elyria from doom.
Recommend changing the '7 virtues and 7 vices and' to '7 virtues and 7 vices which'.
Before then there are several major opportunities to be involved with the game, including:
I cannot work out if this is incomplete or is supposed to lead on to the other sections on the page. However, it does read as incomplete, especially as the first 'major opportunity' is to give you money!
The passionate Chronicles of Elyria community is already playing the Dance of Dynasties, the great political game of favors, alliances, and power, already happening on the forums and in Discord.
Recommend changing to 'Dynasties. The great' and 'power, is already'.
